Hot Water

I thought I'd write a short script to pass some time. It's not big and it's not clever.
It's probably not even all that funny.

But it is here.

 

Man is stood at the kitchen counter, stirring a pot. Gangster walks in behind him.

G: You know Chief, you’re in a spot of bother.

M: [jumps] What the?! Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my kitchen?

G: Ahh, ignorance is bliss. Remember this moment. Pretty soon you’ll look back on the here and now really quite…

Gangster picks up a knife

G: … Fondly.

Gangster moves in front of Man.

M: What is that? Why are you here? What do you want? Please let me go

G: Let you go? Why of course! What did you think I was going to do? Carve something up? Take this big, sharp knife and strip some meat from the bone? Cleave through the delicate flesh, slice up the belly? Maybe attack the leg? Get really stuck into the shin bone?

M: [whimpers]

G: You see Chief, we seem to have for ourselves here all the ingredients for something rather special. We have the meat…

Gangster points knife at Man

G: We have the vegetables…

Gangster points knife between Mans legs

G: All we need is the… key ingredient. That little something special. That je ne sais quoi…

M: I don’t know what that is!! What is it? What do you need?! Please don’t carve up my shin!

G: Keep your voice down. No… You know what I need. What we’re here for.

M: What? What do you want?

G: You know what I want, Chief. I want…

Gangster leans in very close

G: …The Boullion.

Man looks terrified. His eyes dart around. He sweats

M: Bullion?

G: Boullion.

Man slowly reaches past Gangster and picks up a tub

M: Boullion?

Gangster takes a teaspoon full and puts it in the stew

G: Lovely

Gangster walks out of the door as the pan bubbles over

M: ...?

End